Five Love Languages- Words of Affirmation

Words of Affirmation

“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad’ ~ Proverbs 12:25

(This post is a continuation in the series on Gary Chapman’s ‘The Five Love Languages’.  For the intro post please follow this link.

So, your husband’s primary love language is Words of Affirmation?  Here is a little blurb on that taken from the Five Love Language website…

‘Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.’

I think most people would agree that hearing a word of encouragement can lift their spirit.  People with words of affirmation as a primary or secondary love language, however need more of this than usual.  We thrive off of it, and sometimes lose confidence without it.

I do not envy the calling to be a husband.  God has called them to be the leader of the household, and has given them the natural instinct to protect and provide for their family.  This is a heavy burden to bear.  As a wife, our job is to aid them in their journey, and to encourage them.  God’s word says that the power of life and death are in the tongue and to someone who thrives on words of affirmation, this could not ring truer.

I have done some thinking, researching and praying about this.


Here is a good challenge for you, as a wife to try out… Over the next week try to say as many words of encouragement to your husband as possible.  Make a conscious effort to stop nagging, and appreciate what he does, and let him know that you appreciate him.  Come and report back the difference you can see.  Here are some examples to get you started…

  • I love being around you
  • You are so attractive to me
  • Thank you so much for doing that
  • I love you
  • I feel so safe with you
  • I am so glad you’re home
  • You handled that so well
  • I love that I can trust you
  • I miss you
  • You have grown so much since _____
  • You are so gifted in _____
  • You’re right
  • I am so proud of the man you are

Also, bonus points for those who…

  • Leave little notes with encouragement around the house
  • Call him to tell him you appreciate him (that’s it)
  • Text him encouragement
  • Pray over him

I am excited to hear how this impacts your marriage.  Please, come back and report on how it went!